


The Perfect Plan

by Anonymous



Category: WTFock | Skam (Belgium)
Genre: Crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:00:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26899330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Quite honestly I really needed to let out some anger about season 4. So here's a crack fic about the creation of this monstrosity of a season. To warn you (because I actually do take this seriously) this fic will reference racism and self-harm that has been shown in season 4 so far. This is 100% satire and a way for me to work through my frustrations and feelings about the season.
Kudos: 6
Collections: Anonymous





	The Perfect Plan

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t really have words for this fic, I just am SO DONE. If you are struggling with self-harm, you are not alone and please reach out for help. This is not a trivial issue! Additionally, if you are facing microaggressions and other forms of racism, please know that this is also not trivial and should NOT be explained away so easily. 
> 
> Thanks for reading :D

The year is 2020 and the WTFock team assembles. The pandemic has cost them much, they must find a new and creative way to take their place as the rightful king of the Skam remakes. They had created the perfect season in 2019 with Robbe and Sander. There were no issues with it at all. NONE. It was perfect. They must obtain that perfection again. They will hear nothing else of it. 

While everything is uncertain, the team sits in a large circular room, much like the room of a team of villains in a superhero film. However, not like that at all. After all, they are supreme and cannot do wrong. A bald man stroking a cat sits at the head of the table and begins to lead the meeting. 

Team Member 1: We are gathered here today to discuss the obvious and terrible issue at hand. Our filming has been stopped and we must figure out how to move forward.

Team Member 4: Can’t we just continue with Yasmina’s season and rewrite some of the themes around Ramadan so it could take place at any time?

Team Member 1 jumps to his feet in severe anger. 

Team Member 1: But that’s impossible! We cannot just write another idea for Yasmina’s season! Yasmina is only interesting during Ramadan, anything else would be boring and not useful for our audience. No, we will push her season back to make another one. 

Team Member 2: We could have it be about Keisha? 

Team Member 1: NO! That will not do. We cannot make it about a random stranger the fans do not know. 

Team Member 2: What about Britt?

Team Member 1: NO! That will not do. We cannot make it about a character no one likes very much. 

Team Member 3: What about Luca?

Team Member 1: NO! That will not do. I don’t have a reason, it just can’t be about Luca. 

Team Member 3: What about Noor? 

Team Member 1: NO! That will not do. Noor goes to a different school, there is no possible way to make it about her. None at all. Even if she transferred or they focused on outside of school clips.  
Team Member 3: What abou-

Team Member 1: NO! That will not do. 

Team Member 3: You don’t even know who I was going to-, you know what whatever. 

Team member one sits and calms himself by looking at the words tattooed on his wrist: alt er love. He takes a deep breath and thinks of happy times, like the night they insinuated that Robbe and Sander laid in an alleyway for hours after getting beaten up in a hate crime. The chaos fed him. 

Team Member 1: I have the perfect solution. We will make a season about racism due to Black Lives Matter being an important movement this year. 

Team Member 2: That’s great, lets make a season about Moyo!

Team Member 1: NO! That will not do. 

Team Member 5: Isn’t Moyo a blocked character?

Team Member 2: Yes but no? It’s a very confusing and complicated since Skam France did a season about Arthur. 

Team Member 1: SILENCE!

Team Member 1 puts his cat on the floor and the cat runs out of the room as fast as possible. Even that cat knows what’s up. 

Team Member 1: We need to choose someone who can lead the season about racism. 

Team Member 3: Well we should definitely have it be about a person of color since they are underrepresented in media. 

Everyone stares at them in shock. 

Team Member 1: What? Why is that important?

Team Member 3: Um, well, to increase our representation?

Everyone starts to laugh. 

Team Member 2: Member 3, what does that have to do with anything? If we make a season about racism, that’s good enough right! We are under no obligation to actually focus on people of color. 

Team Member 1: Although Team Member 3 makes a ‘good’ point, our audience does not want that. Instead, we shall make a season about a white person, as we have done for the first three seasons. Once Yasmina’s season has come, we will have filled our diversity quota. 

Team Member 3: Oh wow, ok. 

Team Member2: What if we make it about a new boy who transfers to the school?

Team Member 1: Maybe…… but we have already made a season about a boy. 

Team Member 3: Didn’t you just say that they shouldn’t be new?

Everyone stares at Team Member 3. Team Member 1 deletes Team Member 3 just like so many of those comments on Instagram getting deleted. They must maintain their image. 

Team Member one thinks for a moment and then looks at his phone, he sees the hundreds of Instagram influencers he follows. 

Team Member 1: I have a plan. We will call this plan our secret weapon. I know of a girl named Kato. She is a model, beautiful, gets tons of sponsorships from our partners, and she is an Instagram influencer. She will lead our season. She is the most relatable person for our viewers, and they will be able to see themselves in her. This is perfect. 

All team members applaud. 

Team Member 5: Excellent plan my Lord, but how will we mix that in with a season about racism?

Team Member 1 chuckles: oh, Team Member 5, that is the best part! We will make her racist, then Moyo and Yasmina, our POC characters will teach and educate her. After all, it is the place of marginalized persons to educate the privileged about their own oppression. 

Team Member 2: A perfect plan!

Team Member 1: It is, isn’t it? A racist white girl will lead our season. Then all of our viewers will be able to relate to her since all of our viewers are white girls. I couldn’t have thought of a better idea for the season if I tried. 

The sun sets outside while the team members laugh and drink to their new flawless season of WTFock. Team Member 1 messages Kato on Instagram and secures her for the season to come.   
As though appearing out of thin air, Kato enters the room. She is crying. Then she sits down and smiles and stops crying. 

Kato: Hello everyone. I’m excited about the season. 

Team Member 1: Yes, thank you Kato! We are very excited you will be leading our season. Please tell us about yourself.

Kato: Myself?

Team Member 2: Yes….. tell us about yourself. 

Kato: Ummmmmmm, I’m blonde. 

Team Member 1: Yes. 

Kato: I um, I run an Instagram blog?

Team Member 5: Good, good!

Kato: I have a mom who asks me to come home at reasonable times for someone my age, but some people would see this as controlling. 

Team Member 16: Yes, being home by 11 on a weekend night is totally unreasonable. How dare. 

Kato: sometimes I refer to people of different races/ethnicities than me as ‘you people’. 

Team Member 1: Great Kato! I’m taking notes here. And how often would you say you do this?

Kato: Probably about once a week, but more if I’m actually around people of color. 

Team Member 2: Wonderful! And when this happens, how do you explain it?

Kato: Well, see (Kato begins to cry) my brother is in an institution and used to deal drugs.

Team Member 8: I am really sorry to hear that, that’s a very difficult thing to go through and please know that we empathize with you. 

Kato: Because of that I am racist. 

Team Member 6: I’m really sorry Kato and that is really tough to go through, but, also, like, what does that have to do with being racist?

All eyes turn to Team Member 6. 

Team Member 1: WHAT ARE YOU SAYING HOW DARE YOU OBVIOUSLY KATO IS GOING THROUGH A ROUGH TIME AND THIS DOESN’T EXCUSE IT BUT IT EXPLAINS IT HOW DAFT ARE YOU???

Team Member 6: Um, she has a lot of struggles, but this would insinuate that life struggles excuse racism?

Team Member 1 deletes Team Member 6 from the room.

Team Member 1: Don’t worry Kato, that makes perfect sense and you can do whatever you want. 

Kato: *sniff* thank you, it’s really tough for me. Whenever I see men of color with drugs I just lash out at them by yelling, ignoring them, and glaring a lot.

Team Member 5: It sounds like it! How have you been coping with the loss of your brother?

Kato: Oh, well um, I used to cut myself. 

Team Member 7: Oh, that’s really serious. We should probably handle that really well because some of our viewers might also be dealing with self-harm issues!

Team Member 1: WHAT? No, that’s perfect!!!!! We shall have her be racist, then come out with the self-harm to increase empathy. How original. How unique. How iconic. How useful. 

Kato cries. 

Team Member 7: What? No that’s a terrible idea, those are actually super serious issues that could affect our viewers. 

Team Member 1 deletes Team Member 7 from the room. 

Team Member 1: Ah, that’s better. Alright Kato, ready to go?

Kato: Yes! 

They leave the room. The moon rises. And chaos returns.   
_______________________________________________________


End file.
